Replacement Resolutions (For men who have already forgotten theirs.)

 

By G. E. Shuman

 

New Year’s resolutions are quite easy to make. Somehow, right around New Year’s Day many of us make some bold decision or other, and also, somehow, many of us keep that ‘resolution’ exactly until the first time we forget to do it. Then it’s just all over.

My ‘resolution,’ although I did not say it was a resolution, was to walk more. I thought I could do that, because more than ‘not at all’ didn’t seem like a big task. Still, it is a week past the start of the year, and I haven’t walked more, yet. The road to the mall is paved with good intentions, or something like that. In any case, that’s where I intended, and still do intend to walk until the weather improves. Then I intend to walk the sidewalks of our town. Ya, okay.

You may have something else in mind, resolution’-wise.  You may intend to lose weight, or get a new job, or save money, or do all three of these or something entirely different than these, this year. Whatever your case may be, isn’t it great, at the very beginning of a new year, to have some brand-new goals too? I think so.

I am a man, and can only speak here for my own gender, but I do have a few suggestions for guys of my age and attitude. If you have not yet resolved to resolve something, how about starting with these things? Or, if you’re like me and have somehow resolved to procrastinate on committing to your resolutions, the following simple things might be just what your new year needs.

Firstly, be polite, have manners. Open doors for ladies, especially older ladies. You may get a few dirty looks in doing so, but I doubt it.  At my age, the older ones are getting harder to find but they are still there.

Use please and thank you. You learned how when you were a little boy, from a lady not unlike the older ones you’re attempting to open doors for now.

Next, do more things for yourself. If you shop at stores that deliver your items right out to your car, don’t use that service. Get your butt out of the car and do your own shopping. You know, if more of us did that we would get more exercise, there would be more parking spaces for all customers, and the stores could train those cart employees to cash people out, like they used to. And then there are the safety issues. A few weeks ago, I was nearly bowled over by three vested zealous employees as they pulled what first appeared to me to be a Smurf Christmas train across the store.

Also, as a man, when you enter a building, maybe a store, but especially a church or someone’s home, take off your danged hat. It isn’t that hard to do. Military men tuck their hats under their armpits without even thinking about it. The rest of us have armpits too… right? I think so.

And, not to put anyone down, but please watch your language? Do this around ladies, children, your mother, and your dog. Using the ‘f’ word, especially, three times in each sentence makes a person sound a bit language-challenged. Sorry.

Say I’m sorry if you’re sorry, like I did at the end of the last suggestion.

Lastly, and possibly most importantly, a great resolution would be to take the advice that the late Fred Rogers once offered when asked to tell the three most important things a person could do in life. His reply? “Be kind, be kind, be kind.”