Wednesday, October 27, 2021

Spooky!

 

By G. E. Shuman

 


Dear Readers,

This column is one of the few that I repeat from year to year.

 

            It is a distant memory, cold and old, dusted off now as a long-neglected, rediscovered book might be.  It matters, somehow, that this nearly forgotten evening happened within a mid-nineteen-sixties year.  Perhaps it could be that the late autumn wind cooled and creaked the leafless, lifeless-looking trees even more then than now; again… somehow.  Or perhaps it is only because those October thirty-firsts were spookier then, at least to the one whose memory of the night it is. Those Halloweens contained no costumes of bleeding skulls or vividly maimed souls. They were, simply, or perhaps, not so simply, ghostly, hauntingly spooky nights. 

            On this one Halloween, dusk, as dust, had settled slowly upon the small New England town of the boy’s youth.  Supper had been a hurried affair, gobbled by giggling goblins anxious to get out into the night. Low voices and footsteps of other spooks were already upon the front steps; knocks and bone-chilling knob-rattling had already begun at the door. 

            The boy of ten or so was more than ready to go out.  By accident or plan, his siblings had already slipped into the night without him.  He was very alone; at least he hoped that he was alone, as he ventured into the much too chilly night air.  The cold breeze stung his eyes as he peered through the rubbery-odored mask of his costume.  He began the long walk through the frozen-dead, musty-smelling leaves covering the sidewalk.

            The youth hurried past the frightful row of thick and dark, moonlit maples that lined the way.  He was very afraid that the dry crunch of death in those old leaves would alert of his presence whatever ghoul or ghost might be lurking behind one of those trees.  As he walked on in the increasingly inky black, he dared not peek even slightly around any of them.  It was a sure thing that not EVERY roadside tree hid some witch or ghastly ghoul, but the boy knew that he was certain to pick the one which did, if he were to dare to look.

            By sheer will, or by chance, the youth succeeded in passing by the haunted trees, and successfully trick-or-treated at many houses on the street.  Every inch of the way he thought about the one house he dreaded visiting most: the house of the witchy-looking old lady.  Sure, she seemed kind in the daytime, but you didn’t see her humped old back or the wrinkly look in her eyes in the daytime.  Her house was cold as a tomb, at least, such was her old porch, at night, in late October.  The boy knew this well from the year before, but that year he had been with his brothers and sisters. As he walked, the scuffing, leaf-scraping sound of every step seemed to taunt him with the words: Every… witch… awaits… the child… who walks… alone… Every… witch… awaits… the child… who walks… alone…

            The boy’s small hands were nearly freezing by the time he reached the old lady’s small dark house far down the street.  He managed to climb to the top of the worn and creaky steps.  He stood there a moment, and then worked up enough courage to open the narrow door of the witch’s small, windowed porch.  The rusty door spring, worn to its own insanity by countless other small boys who were fools enough to enter here, screeched a hateful, taunting announcement of the boy’s arrival.  This it repeated, mocking its original scream, as the door slammed tightly shut between the lad and the world outside.

            The long, enclosed tomb of a porch offered no relief from the cold, but some little relief from the night wind.  The only light therein was that of a maddening, perfectly placed jack-o-lantern which hideously smiled up at the boy from the floor, at the farthest corner of the room. The porch exuded the sooty-sweet smell of that candle-lit carved pumpkin.  This strange aroma mingled with that of crisp, cold Macintosh apples which filled a wooden crate at one wall.  “What could possibly be the use of apples to a witch?”  The boy briefly pondered.

            The one who disguised herself as a regular, kind old lady during the daytime was very cunning indeed.  Her trap for little boys was a porch table full of the biggest and best treats in the town.  Those very famous treats were the single reason the boy was even on this terrifying porch.  There was a tray which held beautiful, candied apples and another laden with huge, wax-paper-wrapped popcorn balls.  A bowl between them overflowed with candy corn, the boy’s favorite.  Thoughts of poison apples and boiling cauldrons momentarily filled the child.  He then nervously picked his treat and got it safely into the candy-stuffed pillowcase he carried.  Hearing the nighttime witch walking across her kitchen floor toward the door to the porch, he headed out, past the screeching door, down the creaking steps, and toward home.  If she had ever invited any little boy into her home, that boy certainly had never come back out, he thought, as he briskly walked.  This boy, that night, had, somehow, survived another visit to that house.  He had even gotten away with the biggest, most delicious popcorn ball of all!  His only fear then was in once again getting past the street-side ghouls that certainly stared at him from behind those huge old maples.

            It is a fact that Halloween was different in the nineteen sixties, before the age of sugar and plastic holidays. There was just something hauntingly powerful about the cheap paper cutouts, cheesy cardboard skeletons and black and orange streamers of those years.  Fold-out paper pumpkins and eerie (and probably dangerous) cardboard candleholders lit the yards. Homemade, totally safe treats filled pillowcases and paper bags of those who dared to face the night. Those were night-prowling, costumed, youthful vagabonds, young souls whose parents had no fear at all that they would not return home safely. 

            Halloween nights were ones of simple, frightful fun, in those years. Cartoon ghosts and goblins, fake witches and funny Frankenstein monsters were all that stalked the streets or the innocent imaginations of children then.  True evil had nothing to do with those nights at all.

            The ghouls of Halloweens long-past may live on only as aging, dusty memories, but the dark and distant nineteen-sixties Halloween you just read about really did happen.  At least, that’s how this old trick-or-treater remembers it.

 

(Note: The author invites you to view his novels, “A Corner CafĂ©” and the second edition of “The Smoke and Mirrors Effect” at Amazon.com. Both books are available on Kindle and in paperback.)

 

Thursday, October 21, 2021

Link to new edition of The Smoke and Mirrors Effect

 Hi all,

Here's a link to the new Amazon Kindle and paperback editions of The Smoke and Mirrors Effect.


https://www.amazon.com/Smoke-Mirrors-Effect-Scales-Probability-ebook/dp/B09JXWCDDS/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=The+Smoke+and+Mirrors+Effect&qid=1634864763&qsid=137-2112995-1052612&sr=8-2&sres=1629337684%2CB09JXWCDDS%2CB00AVHPOPS%2CB000OSL778%2C1784290289%2C1977943349%2CB00MLN1TT0%2C1979599416%2CB00HDJF7HC%2C0060652381%2CB07Z45F19D%2CB004W5MFFC%2C1651656193%2CB01MXF2F8L%2CB004W5MFES%2CB08QXK5N79&srpt=ABIS_BOOK


Enjoy!


George

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

All Those Orange Witches


By G. E. Shuman

 

                I am not sure what is going on, but all-over Central Vermont, something strange seems to be happening. If you live in our region, and if you drive a car, you may already know what I am hinting at here.

                It seems that about every Central Vermont city, town, village, hamlet, and farm cow path is undergoing some type of local road construction this fall… in unison. All I can think is that there must be a big sale on asphalt going on, somewhere. On some streets they are laying new water and/or drainage pipes, and on others they’re repaving. In many places they are doing both.

                I’m not really complaining, because I’m glad our streets are being redone. I just get the impression that some of these towns are trying to eat the whole elephant in one bite. Maybe doing a few streets at a time would be better?  I know that they understand what they’re doing, and I know that I don’t. Like I said, it’s just an impression.

                Recently my wife and I took a trip across ol’ Route 2, from Barre, through New Hampshire, and into Central Maine. If you haven’t taken that road in a while, I can tell you that those other states are doing exactly what our state is. There seems to be orange and black construction signs about everywhere. On that trip across to Maine I told my wife that I wished I owned whatever company makes those signs, or at least be the guy who supplies all that orange paint. I know those signs are very important. I just wonder if someone, somewhere, is building a huge warehouse to keep them in (if and when) the construction ends. If not, I know that orange roofs are popular in some areas of Canada. (Although they don’t usually have the words SLOW or YIELD on them. At least I don’t think they do.) Still, New England towns could sell those things off for shingles or trade them with the country to the north for maple syrup. (I forgot; we already have that.) Anyway, I am sure that about six of those bad boys would cover a whole side of a roof in no time! Isn’t it worth a try?

                I remember hearing someone joking, years ago, about construction cones. You know, those orange rubber cones that are used everywhere there is any road construction going on? That guy said that they are not what they appear to be, but are orange witches, buried up to their hats. I cannot see even one of those cones without remembering that. Now you are going to have the same problem. Sorry, (a little.)

                Please don’t get me wrong. No one wants our roads to be smooth and free of potholes and frost heaves more than I do. I’m glad we have the hard-working crews and the equipment to make that happen.  I do hope most of the work is competed soon, because I can see another road project on the horizon, (or right around the corner?). Halloween is coming, and someone is going to have to dig up all those orange witches.