All Those Orange Witches

By G. E. Shuman

 

                I am not sure what is going on, but all-over Central Vermont, something strange seems to be happening. If you live in our region, and if you drive a car, you may already know what I am hinting at here.

                It seems that about every Central Vermont city, town, village, hamlet, and farm cow path is undergoing some type of local road construction this fall… in unison. All I can think is that there must be a big sale on asphalt going on, somewhere. On some streets they are laying new water and/or drainage pipes, and on others they’re repaving. In many places they are doing both.

                I’m not really complaining, because I’m glad our streets are being redone. I just get the impression that some of these towns are trying to eat the whole elephant in one bite. Maybe doing a few streets at a time would be better?  I know that they understand what they’re doing, and I know that I don’t. Like I said, it’s just an impression.

                Recently my wife and I took a trip across ol’ Route 2, from Barre, through New Hampshire, and into Central Maine. If you haven’t taken that road in a while, I can tell you that those other states are doing exactly what our state is. There seems to be orange and black construction signs about everywhere. On that trip across to Maine I told my wife that I wished I owned whatever company makes those signs, or at least be the guy who supplies all that orange paint. I know those signs are very important. I just wonder if someone, somewhere, is building a huge warehouse to keep them in (if and when) the construction ends. If not, I know that orange roofs are popular in some areas of Canada. (Although they don’t usually have the words SLOW or YIELD on them. At least I don’t think they do.) Still, New England towns could sell those things off for shingles or trade them with the country to the north for maple syrup. (I forgot; we already have that.) Anyway, I am sure that about six of those bad boys would cover a whole side of a roof in no time! Isn’t it worth a try?

                I remember hearing someone joking, years ago, about construction cones. You know, those orange rubber cones that are used everywhere there is any road construction going on? That guy said that they are not what they appear to be, but are orange witches, buried up to their hats. I cannot see even one of those cones without remembering that. Now you are going to have the same problem. Sorry, (a little.)

                Please don’t get me wrong. No one wants our roads to be smooth and free of potholes and frost heaves more than I do. I’m glad we have the hard-working crews and the equipment to make that happen.  I do hope most of the work is competed soon, because I can see another road project on the horizon, (or right around the corner?). Halloween is coming, and someone is going to have to dig up all those orange witches.