One FANTASTIC Idea

By G. E. Shuman

          So, here I am tucked away in my home, writing next week’s World column. And there you are, likely tucked away in your own home and already into ‘next week’, reading it. I’m pretty sure you have gone out at least a few times, as you have a copy of the paper in your hands or on the table in front of you, right now. Or, perhaps you are truly cocooned at home and looking at the online version. Either way, welcome to my world, in The World.

          My wife was just commenting that this nasty invasive coronavirus has already changed many things in the way we live. At this point, we are obviously somewhat trapped and attempting to do everything possible to ensure the safety of ourselves and our loved ones. We have been somewhat forced into doing so, as we have been into removing our shoes at the airport, in the days when we dared USE the airport. What a world we live in.

          Going to a store has become an ‘only if absolutely necessary’ thing to do; keeping extra food in the house has become the norm, along with, for some reason, emptying Stuff-mart’s toilet paper counter. Giving a friendly handshake or hug has become a thing of the past, and even touching your own face is taboo. Some of these precautions will also certainly pass into the past when this siege is over. Some, like handshaking, might be things that should, sadly, be continued long into the future.

          Anyway, that is only part of what I wanted to share with you today. (I do tend to ramble. At least my fingers on this keyboard do.) What I also want to tell you about is a simple, practical, almost free action you can take to help people in your neighborhood in this stressful and dangerous time. It is an idea shared yesterday with us, by a good friend, via Facebook, so you may have already heard of it. In case you have not, here it is.

          The idea is to buy a pack of various colored construction paper. Pull out the red, yellow, and green pieces, maybe paperclip them together, and include a note like this:

Dear Neighbor,

Please tape one of these cards to the inside of a window facing our home.

Green: if everything is fine at your house.

Yellow: if there is an errand that we may run for you.

Red: if there is an emergency situation that we can help you with.

          Yesterday our family assembled two of these ‘kits’ in plastic bags and left them on our two neighbors’ back doorknobs. Both of those families, without having to contact us at all, have their green cards in a window facing our house. It is comforting to us to know that, so far, everything is fine with those fine folks. We will check for the cards each day until this virus is finally defeated. Would you be willing to do the same for your neighbors? If so, as they used to say, just do it.

          Our thoughts and prayers are with our nation and our world as we together continue the vigilant fight against this tiny but terrible invisible enemy. Keep your head up, your guard up, and your faith active.

The Great ‘Time Out’

By G. E. Shuman

          This will likely be a different type of column than what you usually get from me. I usually try to rely on a bit of humor and the general absurdity of some aspects of life to scaffold one of these short groups of paragraphs. This time, the theme might seem a bit more serious, and I hope that is okay.

          Today I’d like to look past the astounding ways our lives have been changing in such abrupt fashion as they have in only the last few weeks. Those things do amaze me, especially in their rapid succession. Our entire nation, our entire world has been, hopefully temporarily, thrown into a worsening situation that is evolving with each new day. By the time you read these words many things will have changed still more. 

          Only yesterday, as my wife and I sat here in our own self-imposed partial quarantine, she mentioned the idea that perhaps our nation is finding itself in the midst of a great ‘time out’. She and I almost daily babysit for our very active three-year-old granddaughter and are very familiar with the meaning of a time out, for sure. Those times are when a child is disciplined by being forced to sit still a while and contemplate both their past behavior and what their future behavior should be.   

          What my very wise spouse had realized is that perhaps we adults should consider this time of partial isolation from ‘normal’ life and community as an opportunity to do the same. We should not hoard, but we should value the things available to us in our great nation.  We should not be selfish but should find ways to assist those around us who need assistance. We should not fear but find comfort and strength in our faith and family, as we always should have.

          One newsman that I was listening to the other day said this is beginning to be referred to as the ‘Big Pause,’ another way of expressing the idea of a ‘time out’. A person’s conscience is often shaken and reset by a time of adversity; perhaps this is also true of the conscience of a nation. We do need to find common ground in this fight against an invisible and common enemy, if we are to win. A virus is no respecter of race, religion, sex, or political leanings.

          My very wise wife also recently texted me, from the other end of the couch, (Ain’t technology grand?) one of those little social media ‘sayings’ that appear every day. This one looked at quarantine measures in a very positive way. It brought some things into perspective for me. The wording was this: “Getting outdoors, Not canceled. Music, Not canceled. Family, Not canceled. Reading, Not canceled. Singing, Not canceled. Laughing, Not canceled. Hope, Not canceled. Let’s embrace what we have.” 

          We are hearing, day after day, that the future is uncertain regarding the coronavirus. That, in its far-reaching effects, is obviously true, at least so far. The virus, as the doctors and scientists have said, will wash over our nation before it subsides. We must hold on, hole up, and prepare for that.

          Still, life is very good and much of that goodness depends on our attitudes. I once read this quote by famous author Charles Swindoll: “I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me, and ninety percent how I react to it. And so it is with you.”

          Stay safe, stay well, and stay positive my friends.

           

The Things We Say

By G. E. Shuman

          For a while now I’ve been a bit troubled by something I just think of as ‘the things we say.’ It’s probably just the old English teacher in me coming out, but I can’t seem to help it. If you don’t mind, I’d like to share a few of those things with you and maybe ‘cry on your shoulder’ a bit. Okay, so maybe a bit of whining will be done too.

          Anyway, the ‘things’ I’m referring to are simply catch words or phrases that have caught on and lodged themselves in our collective consciousness. Then they simply find their way out through our mouths and get caught in the minds and vocabularies of others.

          Now, hopefully without insulting other writers or politicians or news people, or maybe your recent conversation participants, I would like to take a moment to challenge people to simply stop parroting other people to the point that it drives me out of my mind, if you don’t mind. Okay, now I’ll start the genuine whining.

          Truthfully, if I hear one more newscaster or reporter talk about ‘brick and mortar’ buildings I think I’m going to seek serious hours of therapy. What the heck? Brick and mortar? Why not wood and shingles, granite and slate, steel and marble, or any other combination of building materials? Or, maybe we could just say the word ‘buildings’, and assume that people might know what that word means.

          The next phrase I’d like to enumerate among the relentlessly repeated is the world-wide, resounding, ‘At the end of the day.’ Wow, I really hate this one. It’s just strange enough and corny enough to let the entire world know that the person saying it has not the slightest morsel of imagination or originality between their ears. If you don’t believe me, try this little experiment. Tune in to one talk show, one news program, or one politician on TV for more than a few moments and listen for it. I can pretty much guarantee that you won’t get through a half hour of news reporting or political analysis (notice the word anal is in there) without hearing ‘at the end of the day.’

          Next in my list of sayings that I feel would be better off not said is, ‘It is what it is.’ Yes… my friend… it is what it is. OF COURSE it is what it is. Whatever it is, what else in the world COULD it be? (Pulling my hair out!)

          To continue down my raving path of whines, the following must be the strangest, dumbest, oft’ but only recently repeated set of words I have ever encountered.  Check out the news, the weather, sports reporting, or probably your favorite cooking show and you will hear the admonition: ‘It’s in your wheelhouse.’ What? It’s in my what? I didn’t even know I HAD a wheelhouse. Wow!

          Now we might, and will, briefly discuss a short phrase that you and I have heard on the national news. (Notice that most of these things occur on the news?, no coincidence there.) Those people probably have to discuss the mess our nation is in, but for some reason must often say ‘let’s unpack it’, when maybe they should just read the news, or, better yet, leave it packed up. They also frequently talk about someone throwing shade. I think you can throw light on a subject, but I don’t know how you could throw shade.

          Also, seemingly everyone discusses the idea of ‘reaching out.’ Reaching out? Really? Whatever you do, kindly avoid reaching out for me. I like my own ‘personal space,’ ‘my own bubble,’ if you don’t mind.

          Perhaps my problem with all of this is because I’m from a time when ‘cool’ was the new word. That one, along with it’s opposite, ‘hot’ seem to be here to stay, even though they now mean the same thing.  “That’s a cool car!” “That’s a hot car!”  ‘Back in the day’ we said things like that, even though both seem pretty ‘old school’ now.  I still think those words are kind of ‘groovy,’ but I’d never say so in public.

          We also might have had a partner back then, but we didn’t ‘partner’ with anyone, preferring to leave the word a noun, instead of making it into a verb. Dang, that irritates my brain’s grammar muscle.

          At this point I’m going to ‘shutter’ my feelings a bit and will attempt to ‘throw no more shade’ at sayings like ‘throw no shade.’ We live in a world of new and old, colorful, if overused, catch phrases.  Maybe I just need to ‘get with the program.’ After all, when all is said and done, for all intents and purposes, when push comes to shove, when we cut to the chase, at the end of the day, it is what it is.