by G. E. Shuman
I won't keep you in suspense. The
letters 'BTS' are a bit of old retail jargon for the selling season
of 'back to school.' I know this, as I am an old retail jargon
person. I don't know if the letters BTS are still used in that
industry to abbreviate the words back to school, but I think that
they probably are. Why would they not be? In retail, as in many other
professions, words and titles of people and things, (CEO, CFO, etc.)
have been abbreviated for a very long time now. It makes one wonder
why abbreviation is such a long word in the first place. Long B-4
(Get it? Of course you do.) face book, texting, and tweeting, my
generation was using terms like BTS. As a reformed and recovering
retail manager, I can tell you that that profession coined many such
terms, including the shortened version of health and beauty aids;
HBA. I can't imagine why we did those things. It's not much harder
to say the words health and beauty than it is to mouth HBA, at least
I don't think it is. The least effective, and fairly stupid such
abbreviation that I can remember all these years later was actually
no abbreviation at all. Christmas merchandise, in retail, was once
termed 'red and green'. Now think about that. 'Red and green' is
three syllables. 'Christmas' is two syllables. Not all of us in
retail were geniuses back then. Similarly, or if not similarly, at
least also, my wife works for a big, international shipping company,
(The brown one, with initials for a name.) and comes home from work
each night speaking in alphabet soup and acronyms, not in real words.
The sweet nothings that she whispers into my ear each night, really
are nothings, at least nothing that I can understand. I'm not sure
why I told you all of that, other than I felt like discussing back to
school, which I will now do. I do get off on a rabbit trail now and
again.
For most families, at least for those
families containing small children, the vacation is over... at least
for the kids and the teachers. Fall is in the air.
Sweatshirt-and-sneaker weather is on its way, or, perhaps, is already
here. These days, many, if not most families have found it necessary
for both parents to have jobs outside of the home. For many other
families there is only one parent in the home, and that parent works
outside of the home. Some other parents get to stay at home. For all
of those moms and/or dads, in those very diverse families, it is now
the case that they have recently begun dropping their little angel or
angels off at that big brick building, or at the stop for that big
yellow bus, and, with tears in their eyes, (The mom's and dad's eyes,
not the kids') watching those precious cherubs plop out of the car
and waddle up to the door of that building or long yellow vehicle. (I
do love children. Please forgive my choices of verbs, sometimes.)
I know those old parental feelings
well, and have experienced the tears, especially the very first day
of school each year, and more especially when the kids are very young
students AND it is the first day of school. All five of my kids have
withstood the momentary torment of standing in front of our fireplace
on that first day, backpacks in hand, while Mom and I took their
picture, for posterity, I guess, if posterity happened to be paying
attention. I have no idea where any of those pictures are right now.
They never made it to face book, but it might be worth our getting
them on there, just to be held as blackmail for future favors from
those now-grown former juveniles of ours.
Each new year means that your children
are entering a new grade, and that grade brings them one year closer
to graduation, college, marriage, and lots of other terrifying things
that enter your mind as you take them to the school or watch them
board that big, ugly, yellow bus. I know those parental feelings for
another reason, in that soon my wife and I will be driving the last
of our five children to a far away college. ('Last times' are often
even more scary than 'first times,' I am coming to realize.) That
event will be no picnic for us, but will likely be party time for
her. Having already processed four children out of high school and
into college, I know that things are not, they are not, and we are
not the same when they find their way home, for good, or even for a
semester break. They are changed, and we are changed, at least a
bit. It is no longer a relationship between an adult and a child.
It is a relationship between an adult and another adult, assuming
that we parents can act like adults while they visit. Stranger
changes have probably taken place in our world, but only probably.
Still, and I know this to be true,
what you younger parents need most to do at this time of year is to
daily, cheerfully and bravely, dress your little bundle of joy, slap
that peanut butter sandwich, juice box and apple into his lunch box,
and put his backpack back on his back. Then, off you go to the
school or the bus stop. The dirty little secret is that for some of
you, what happens next is that you can head back home, to a quiet
house that will not be disturbed or dirtied until your child arrives
home in the afternoon. For you, there will be time on the couch
today, to continue reading that wonderful book, as the sunshine beams
through the window, warming both you and that big mug of mid-morning
coffee. You will experience a bit of guilty pleasure in this, it is
true. But don't feel too guilty. In fact, enjoy it while you can.
BTS doesn't last forever. Before you know it your vacation will be
over, and the school will gladly give the cherub back to you.
