Kids, Eat Your Turkey!

by G. E. Shuman

Call me an outdated, carnivorous dinosaur if you like. I'm getting used to the idea of living in the past, and I'm actually pretty comfortable here. As proof of my 'oldfashionedness,' I was disturbed by a recent advertisment put out by PETA.  You know, PETA; the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Did you see the ad? It's okay if you didn't, because I'm going to tell you about it in the next paragraph.  As an introduction, let me say that, personally, I like animals, (even when they are in places other than right beside the mashed potatoes,) and could not care less if you or anyone else leads a vegan lifestyle.  Unlike PETA, I don't tell people what to eat or how to live, so I should be commended for my great tolerance, don't you think?
I do think that I am, at least, more tolerant than those PETA folks who put the particular ad I'm referring to into circulation just before Thanksgiving Day.  (This is the part where I tell you about it.)  The ad said, precisely: "Kids. You wouldn't eat your dog.  Why would you eat a turkey?"  Evidently, those well-meaning folks at PETA were never taught the difference between a farm animal that was raised specifically for consumption by humans, and a pet. If you are unsure of the difference, remember that dogs have leashes... turkeys usually don't.  (If you do have a pet turkey, please forgive me.)  I suspect that the PETA folks don't care a whit that many families in this country will be grateful to have a turkey, or a chicken, or some other poor, "unethically-treated" animal as the centerpiece of their Thanksgiving feast.  They also must not care about any division their advertisement may cause those families on that day, or the fact that there will  have been a certain amount of sacrifice for some families to even provide the yearly feast, this year.  No, let's just be sure no turkeys are harmed, and that they all live long and happy lives.  I know, my ideas are outdated; I am that old dinosaur.  It's just that, to me, our world has, sadly, become a place where animal rights are revered high above those of people.  You will never happen upon an abortion clinic for pets, and rightly so.
There are thousands of family-run and industrial turkey farms in the United States, providing over 254,000,000 turkeys anually. (USDA 2012 stat.) That's two hundred fifty four MILLION of these great individual sources of economical protein, for consumption by American and foreign families, each year.  (Hey, forget the dog, it sounds like the turkey is man's real best friend.) Those family farms must also mean little to people who actually spend money advertising against turkey eating, but PETA isn't about people, after all.
Regardless of a person's predisposition to the eating, or not eating of meat, isn't it a little late in the year to suggest to kids that they not eat turkey... (or their dog,) this Thanksgiving?  Most of the dogs will be full of dog food, which is yucky and usually contains poutry (chicken and turkey) byproducts. But, it's probably okay for dogs to eat turkey, even if kids shouldn't.  Right?  Most of those big birds that families will consume on Thursday are already processed and in supermarket or home freezers.  If not eaten, wouldn't they have all died in vain, PETA followers?  Perhaps between now and next spring you can convince all of those turkey farmers to grow soybeans instead of poultry, but I hope not.  If you do, next Thanksgiving I'll have to go out for a burger.  (Kids, eat your turkey, while you can.)
Seriously, dear readers, I wish you all a wonderful, loving, thankful family time this week, however you choose to celebrate the holiday.  As someone who cherishes Thanksgiving as a day of giving thanks to God for all of our blessings, including meat on our table, I never thought I would be saying this, but, Happy Turkey Day!  (Save me a drumstick.)